I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
