I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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