new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is Oprah even human
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
