I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
