ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
