found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
