drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
