Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
