Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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