Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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