I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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