Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize