I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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