If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
