Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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