sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
