quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
