What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
