What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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