your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
