I can feel you judging me through the phone.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
