He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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