I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
