If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize