Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
