Porn is love you can see.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize