just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize