let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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