I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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