Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
