I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
