Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
