My brain says no but my pants say off.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
