wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
