Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
