im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Couch. On fire.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
