I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
