sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
