Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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