I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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