sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's rum buckets o'clock
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
