Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
