If i come over, it means nothing
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
