Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
