Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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