I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
