Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let's get the cat blown out
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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