he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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