Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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