I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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