Nicole vs. Life
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
