marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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