so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
