I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
