im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
