I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
