so that wasnt chicken after all
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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