i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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