Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
