im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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