And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
