The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize