Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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