I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
