if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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