I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
