I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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