everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
