Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I smell stomach acid.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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